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Post by Hades on Aug 31, 2008 20:16:23 GMT -5
(I decided to write this totally different then Pain and Panic's story...I tried to give this a Hadean sense, so bear with me...it's hard to do....especially when you're writing something as un-Hades as this! ;D )
Hades *sitting on black throne and seeing Pain and Panic walk in*-- What do you two want?! Can't you see I'm busy?!?
Pain *twisting tail*--Um....busy...doing...what, exactly?
Hades-- None of yer @%^* business!!
Panic *wincing*-- Um....ok, boss. But we just wanted to know-
Hades-- What!?!?!
Pain *swallowing hard*-- Er...maybe...this isn't the best time....
Hades *jumping out of chair and bursting into flames*-- ARRGH! WHAT DO YOU TWO IDIOTS WANT?!?!?!?
Panic *glancing nervously at Pain*-- We just wanted to know.....about...about your childhood! *both fall to floor, cowering in fear*
Hades *confused*-- Well.....THAT was random....
Pain *standing up*-- You're not....mad?!?!
Hades-- I am....you just can't tell......why do you care about 'my childhood'?!
Panic-- We were just....curious, boss.....
Hades *annoyed*-- Go be curious somewhere else.
Panic-- Sir, we just wanted to know--
Hades *getting extremely agitated*-- Pick up a mythology book then! Its written everywhere, JEEZ!
*awkward silence*
Hades-- Oh, right....ya can't read....
Pain-- Besides, you know those stupid things never tell the truth...I mean all that stuff about Zeus cheating on Hera with mortals.......and goddesses....? Such lies.....
Hades *thoughtful*-- I dunno, that version just might be more realistic then ya think....besides, I think I like that Zeus better...
Panic-- Are ya gonna tell us anything, or not? 'Cuz we'll just leave.....
*Him and Pain go to leave*
Hades *big sigh*-- Ya know, I was swallowed alive when I was born....
*both freeze*
Pain-- Wh-what?!?!
Hades-- I SAID I was swallowed alive when I was born....listen, I don't tell people these things often, can ya pay attention?! You asked me, anyway.....
Panic-- Oh, no, boss we heard you, we just weren't sure....you were...actually...being...
Hades-- Don't finish that sentence.....
Panic-- O-ok, boss.....
Pain-- You were swallowed alive?!?! *whispering to Panic* No wonder he's such a villain...
Hades *flaring up*-- I can HEAR YOU ya know!!!!
Pain and Panic-- Sorry, boss!
Hades-- Do you wanna know or not? I'm busy, I don't have to waste my time with YOU two....
Pain-- Oh, no, we're listening boss...
*they turn into psychologists*
Hades *staring at them*-- Don't......even....
*they turn back*
Panic-- Ok, boss.....
Pain-- Hades? Sir? We're all ears....you can...start telling us...things......
(all i got for now, i will continue this....tell me what you think!)
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Post by Hades on Sept 1, 2008 7:50:44 GMT -5
(ok, im going to attempt to continue......)
Hades-- Ok.... where do you two want me to start?
Panic *to Pain*-- I can't believe he's actually opening up to us!
Pain *to Panic*-- Well, maybe he's drunk?
*They look up and see Hades staring angrily at them*
Panic-- Um, boss, maybe we should start with....with...well, who were your parents?
Hades-- Cronus and Rhea. Jeez, you two are stupider then I thought, everyone in GREECE knows that!!!
Pain and Panic-- Not us!
Hades-- Oy Vey...
Pain-- Ok, sir, that's good! So what happened?
Hades-- And why do ya want to know this again?
Panic-- Just curious, sir.
Hades-- Idiots. Whatever.....see, now, they were Titans. Ya know, big, scary, ooga booga whatever? They fell in love, yada yada, birds and bees, what do ya know, along comes Zeus. Dad, see, few years back, he hears this *^%$&% prophecy and learns that one of his kids shall overthrow him, whoo. K? So he plans on swallowing us alive when we were born. He didswallow Zeus, just dosen't say that in the book. But Zeus only stayed there for about 10 minutes, and he got out...in a way I won't say. (ask me how someone who went through THAT got to rule the cosmos!). Ya know, now that I think of it, I don't know if Cronus really knew Zeus had escaped. Mom knew. Did Dad know, HA! I got no idea. Anyway, along comes Posidon, and he gets yum, yum, chomp, chomp, swallowed. Few centures pass and, BADDA BING, Hades is born!
*sighs, glances at Pain and Panic, who are hastily writing all this down*
Hades *turning orange*-- What are you two yutzes doing?!?!
Pain-- We're analyzing you, boss.....trying to see if there's something in your past that causes you to be like this in the present!
Hades-- Keep doing that, and soon you'll be analyzing why yer out of a job!
*both yelp and drop notepads in front of Hades, who sets them on fire.*
Hades-- ANYWAY....
Panic-- We're listening, Your Flamefulness....
Pain-- We can't wait to hear about yer heroic escape from your fathers stomach!
Hades *raising an eyebrow*-- ........um....Escape?
Panic and Pain-- YOU DIDN'T ESCAPE?!?!?!
Hades *flaring up*-- No I didn't.....why dontcha say it a little louder.....I don't think they heard you in &^*^%$^ ANTARCTICA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pain*cowering*-- We're sorry, boss!
Panic *also cowering*-- We're sorry! We just assumed that you would.....escape.....
Hades-- No. I didn't escape. Now, moving on.....
Pain-- Didn't? Or couldn't?
Hades *extremely mad now, not liking talking 'bout this*-- Couldn't.....
Panic-- You couldn't escape?!? 'Cuz ya know, that's very different from didn't.....
Hades-- AAARRRGH! I COULDN'T ESCAPE, OK!?!? NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED.....I....COULDN'T.....ESCAPE!!!!!!
*sees Pain and Panic staring at him*
Panic-- That's good, boss, very good!
Hades-- I can't BELIEVE I just said that.....and in front of my minions!
Pain *goes to console him*-- It's ok, boss, it's ok....
Hades-- TOUCH ME AND YOU FRY.....
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Post by Hades on Sept 1, 2008 10:06:30 GMT -5
[okey-dokey, im continuing.....]
Panic-- So, Hades, sir, um, what happened after you got....swallowed?
Hades-- Well.......I stayed there......for a long time! Oy vey! Don't you two know ANYTHING!?!?
Pain-- ........No.
Hades *sighs*-- Ah.
Pain-- ANYWAY......how did you and Posidon get out?
Hades-- Nice try, pal, no way I'm tellin' you THAT.
Panic-- Why?
Hades-- None of yer business!
Panic-- Pretty please? With.....with.....worms....and....whatever else you like on top?
Hades-- Kindly shut up and go away.
Pain and Panic-- Oh plese! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepl-
Hades-- ZEUS! ZEUS RESCUED US! OK? OK, IMPS, HAPPY NOW!?!?!?
Panic-- Zeus?!?!
Pain-- I thought you hated him!
Hades *slowly going on fire*-- I...........do........hate......him.....
Pain-- Ok.....um....so how'd Zeus rescue you?
Hades-- Must we talk about this?!?!? Oh, all right.......he gave him rotten nectar........and Dad puked.
Panic *glancing at Pain*-- Well.....that's....that's disgusting.
Hades-- Isn't it?
Pain-- So....what happened after that?
Hades-- Big Brother Zeus came, and banished Dad to Tartarus.....then he decided we needed to figure out who would rule the cosmos. Now, all the other gods and goddesses had shown up...'cept for some of the newer ones......Persephone.....Iris......Melinoe......Macaria.....
Pain-- Macaria? Whos that?
Hades *bursting into flames*-- Who's that?!?!?!?
Panic *to Pain*-- How do you not know who Macaria is?!?!
Pain-- Who is she??
Hades-- MY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!
Pain *small voice*-- Oh yeah....
Hades-- ANYWAY..... so me, Zeus, and Posidon held an election......they all chose Zeus for CEO of the Gods.....Posiodn God of the Seas(he was always a fishy person) and they couldn't decide where ta put me. So the wonderful Zeus goes, "Hey! Hades is all gloomy and dark.....why not put him in the Underworld! He'd love that!" Naturally, everyone else agreed with him, and boom! Now I'm stuck for eternity in the Underworld.
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Post by teague on Sept 1, 2008 10:09:23 GMT -5
((OMG!! This is HILARIOUS!!! LOLZ!!!))
Captain Teague: There's no way I'm letting you forget this, Bolt boy!!! XD
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Post by Hades on Sept 1, 2008 10:26:07 GMT -5
(aw, thanks!)
Pain-- Coming up next, me an' Panic delve deeper into Hades's past......see how he met Persephone!
Hades-- That's what you think.
Panic-- Um....coming soon to a computer near you!
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Post by Hades on Sept 1, 2008 11:19:12 GMT -5
(here we go again!)
Panic-- So....now we know.....about.....well, how you got here. But what happened during you got here?
Hades-- What?!?
Pain-- Er......Persephone. Tell us about Persephone.
Hades-- Well, um, you were there.....you know all about it.
Panic *gesturing towards readers*-- Yeah, but they don't.
Hades-- So tell 'em.
Pain-- You do it. She's your wife....
Hades-- But-- oh, alright.....ya know, you two really have a knack for driving me crazy.
*pause*
Panic-- Where did you first see her?
Hades-- At a family renunion Zeus forced me to go to...of course, something provoked me to go off about 'how I hated flowers' and Persephone steps up and she is furious with me.
Pain-- And?
Hades--I kinda....froze in place...I mean...she was drop-dead gorgeous...I just (quickly) went home.
Panic-- And when did you see her again?
Hades-- What is this, 20 Questions? i saw her again in this field. Ya know, spying on random people from Down Under? And then SHE comes along.....I nearly fell over.....
Pain-- Meaning?
Hades-- Meaning I thought she was HOT with a capital H.....and a capital O......and a capital T!
Panic-- So.....?
Hades-- SO I ran home, and guess who showed up? The Fates......tellin' me that I'd win her heart, yada yada. AND......that I was in love.
Panic-- Ah.....so sweet......
Hades *ignoring Panic*-- So of course, I came up with a plan.
Pain-- And what did you do?
Hades *shrug and evil smile*-- I kidnapped her.
Panic-- Ah-- do ya think MAYBE ya could have handled that.....better?
Hades-- No.
Pain-- I see......so, um, then what happened?
Hades-- She hated my guts for about half the time she was down under........and then, boom! Breakthrough!
Panic-- And what happened?
Hades-- She heard me telling you two that I loved her......and realized she felt the same-- at least that's what she told me.
Pain-- No, she did love you. She told us.
Hades-- She told you that?!?! Jeez! Why don't people ever tell me these things?!
Panic-- So she fell in love......first kiss.....ok.....um.....so up on Earth, Demeter (Persephone's mom) was flipping out. She didn't know what had happened to her precious daughter.
Hades-- And she sent Hermes all over the planet looking for us.....he finally thought to look in the Underworld and forced Persephone back up.
Pain-- And you were heartbroken.....
Hades-- Ahem....not in public please.
Pain-- Right.....
Hades-- She went to her mom and told her....about me.....about US.....
Panic-- And she went bezerk.
Hades *shrugging*-- Ah,well, she never liked me very much....
Panic-- Demeter swore that nothing would grow on Earth as long as Persephone was with you......
Hades-- So I popped up and we went to Zeus (who couldn't believe anyone had fallen in love with ME) and established a deal. We found out that Persephone had eaten six pomegrante seeds......meaning that now for half of the year, she could live in the Underworld with me! That half of the year.....is winter and fall. When's she's upstairs? That's spring and summer.
Pain-- And you two got married.
Hades-- Yes..... and would you believe almost no one came to the wedding?!? Of course.....that could have been because it was in the Underworld.....but.....
(story of Macaria coming up next!)
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Post by Hades on Sept 2, 2008 9:24:50 GMT -5
[another section!]
Panic-- So, Hades.....tell us about Macaria.
Hades-- You know all about her.
Pain-- The readers don't.
Hades*sighing*--Oh, all right. She's my daughter. The goddess of a blessed afterlife.Looks just like Persephone, but she bursts into flames when she gets mad, ya know, like I do.
Panic-- And she's goth.
Hades-- For lack of a better word.............Yeah.
Pain-- So, Hades, on the night she was born, what did you tell us?
Hades *shrugging*-- I told you two not to go anywhere near her! I didn't want Macaria getting close ta you.....of course, after five years ya HAD to go look at her while she was sleeping.....
Panic-- That would have worked, too.....but she woke up. Because SOMEONE-*stares pointedly at Pain*-had to thrash around and crash into stuff!
Pain-- Well SORRY for moving!
Hades*cutting them off*-- Well, she woke up, saw them, and grabbed 'em, ya know, she thought they were gonna be her new friends......she nearly strangled them to death.
Pain-- And then you saved the day!
Hades-- Yup......and then I strangled you for disobeying me!!
Panic-- But she was so cute!
Pain-- And how old is she now?
Hades *thinking*-- She's about.......18 in human years.
Panic *to Pain*-- I still can't believe he's telling us all this....
Hades-- I still can't believe you think I don't hear you!!!
Panic *wincing*-- Um....sorry, boss.
Hades *shrugging*-- Eh. I'll kill ya later.
Pain-- So.....tell us more about Macaria......what does she look like?
Hades-- Ya know, she's got the whole 'Persephone Look' going.....blond hair, pinkish skin, purple eyes......pink glow.
Panic-- And you use her in your schemes.
Hades-- Yes, I do.
Pain-- And do the other gods/goddesses know about her?
Hades-- Aside from me, Percy, Demeter, Posidon and Zeus........no.
Panic-- And why is that?
Hades *flaring up*-- Personal!
Pain-- I.....see....
Hades-- There. Subject closed.
Panic-- But our readers want to know more about Macaria!
Hades *getting angry*-- Tough for them!
Pain-- But, sir--
Hades-- Then go find her! Interview her!
Panic *pouting*-- Fine!
*Pain and Panic both disappear*
Hades *sitting up suddenly*-- Oh no........they didn't.....they couldn't have.....
*Pain and Panic appear, a third figure between them*
Hades-- They did......
Pain-- We brought Macaria, sir!
Hades-- I WAS BEING SARCASTIC! SARCASTIC!!!
Panic-- Oh....should we bring her back?
Macaria *bursting into flames*-- YES! You should!!
Hades *to himself*-- I need better minions.......
Macaria *pulling her arms away from Pain and Panic*-- Get away from me! Ugh! *storms over to Hades* What gives?!?!
Hades-- My minions are idiots.....
Macaria-- You just noticed that?!?!
Pain-- Can we interview you? Macaria?
Macaria-- Maci! Call me Maci*!
*pronounced Mackie
Panic-- Um....Maci?
Macaria-- Please go away.
Pain-- But--
Macaria *firezapping Pain and Panic*-- Get lost.
Hades *beaming*-- Like father like daughter! Ha!
*Maci rolls eyes*
Macaria-- Can I go now? I have mortals waiting.....I'm a very busy goddess! Jeez.....seems like everyone wants a blessed afterlife these days.....
Hades-- Yeah, yeah, get outta here, shoo.
Macaria-- Bye!
*disappears in a cloud of fire/flowers*
Hades *glaring at minions*-- You two....are.....IDIOTS!
*Pain exchanges glances with Panic as they both get firezapped again*
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Post by Captain Jack Sparrow on Sept 14, 2008 3:35:47 GMT -5
(LMAO hahahha I love this!!! Please keep going! ;D)
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Post by esmeralda on Sept 14, 2008 3:40:59 GMT -5
God, I looooove this thread! XD
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Post by Hades on Sept 19, 2008 21:31:33 GMT -5
[okey dokey....lets contiue. jeez, i havent worked on this in like forvever]
Hades-- So....are you two yutzes satisfied, or do I have to keep blabbing about my life.......hey, what are you two doing?!?!
*Pain and Panic are huddled over a huge thick book. Hades goes over to them*
Hades-- What's that?
*tries to take the book from them, and fails*
Panic-- Um...no, thats ok boss, ya dont have to see this book, nope, nope, nothing here for you!
Hades-- Gimme that!
Pain-- B-boss....you shouldn't....don't...don't look at that book! No!
*Hades grabs it from them, flips through pages, then looks at cover*
Hades-- 101 GREEK MYTHS?!?!?!?
Panic *glancing nervously at Pain*-- Ah..heh heh....we were just....skimming?
*Hades glares at them*
Pain-- Uhm....you....don't...believe us......do you.
Hades-- Not....at.....all.
Pain-- Heh....heh...
Hades*reading bits aloud*-- In the beginning there was nothing......'K, Gaia an' Ouranous......titans....Mom and Dad...ok....I got swallowed......Dad pukes.....is there anything here that I don't already know, or is remotely amusing?!?!
*flips through pages*
Hades-- Ah? What's this....? *reading aloud* Zeus needed to split the earth into separate kingdoms.....wasnt sure how to do this....oh? Well, well, well....I don't look ANYTHING like that illistration!! Um....ok, Hades goes to Zeus, and he says....'O King and Brother...' Wait a second...... O KING AND BROTHER?!?!? WHO WROTE THIS?!?!?
*Pain hurridly flips to back page, where there is a picture of the author, eyes staring into blank space, and mouth agape*
Hades*EXTREMELY sarcastic*-- Oh, gee......HE looks sane!
Panic*staring at picture*-- Uh...maybe he just had a bad day?
Hades-- A guy like this writing my myths......that should be #@$%^% illegal!
Panic-- With all due respect, sir.....they're not...exactly....your myths.
Hades-- Killjoy.
*reads some more out of the book*
Hades *exploding*-- WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!
Pain-- What's wrong?!
Hades--Ok...that's it....that is THE LAST STRAW! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!
Panic-- Boss?
Hades-- Look at this! Look at it!
*begins to read aloud*
Hades-- 'Black-robed Hades approached Zeuses throne, and bowed low to him.' That in itself is @#^%#^$ OUTRAGEOUS but it gets %$$#%#@* worse!! ' "O king and brother" said Hades, "I understand that you are currently presiding over who gets to rule over what realm. Let me save you the hassle. I, Hades, volunteer to rule the Underworld.'
*Hades throws the book on the ground violently*
Pain-- What's so bad about that?
Hades-- Are you kidding me? Are you &^$$# kidding me?!?!? I never EVER volunteered to rule this...pit! NEVER WOULD I DO THAT!!!!!!!!! This author......is going to find himself....experiencing Underworldian torture.....FIRSTHAND!
Panic-- Sir....maybe you're overreacting. He....he just didn't know!
Hades-- I don't care. HE'S A LIAR, AND HES CRAZY AND HES GONNA FEEL MY WRATH!!!!!!......or something along those lines......
Pain-- How did it really happen then?
Hades *smoldering*-- Zeus. It was all Zeus. His genius idea. Ya know, I went into it a lil' when I was telling you 'botu Cronus and Rhea? That's how it happened. Ol' Thunderbolts had the Top God spot reserved for himself, Po-po was dying for the seas (ha--underworld humor right there), so I was kinda.....doomed to end up in the Underworld. BUT ITS STILL NOT FAIR!! STUPID ZEUS HAD TO SAVE THE SPOT FOR HIMSELF! WHY COULDN'T I HAVE GOTTEN A CHANCE?! ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
*huge explosion*
Pain-- He's.....opening up to us!
Hades-- Oh, look.....the book is slightly charred.....actually, engulfed in flame is more like it. Eh....good riddance to the stupid thing! And YOU TWO.....new rule. NO MORE GREEK MYTHOLOGY BOOKS ALLOWED IN THE UNDERWORLD UNLESS APPROVED BY.....ahem....yours truly.
(authors note--- the authors picture hades saw in the mythology book is based off of a real author that i saw in the back of one of my mythological monsters book, and he looks DEMENTED. sorry, just had to point that out.)
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Post by Pain and Panic on Dec 22, 2008 11:17:13 GMT -5
ok, i want to continue this and go even more into Persephone, but the thing won't let me double-post, so im writing this so i can post the next part as Hades.
;D
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