Look! I completed it! (after three hours)
100 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER
Part 1: The Basics
1. What is your full name? Hades. I don’t have last name (and I’m perfectly happy without one!!!!)
2. Where and when were you born? A few thousand years ago….on Mt. Olympus I guess. I’m not an elephant—I can’t remember everything.
3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) Oh boy…..
Ok: Cronus: My dad. He’s the big, scary titan who completely lost it a few years after I was born. He swallowed me and my bro Poseidon alive along with a rock who he thought was my other bro Zeus. I know. Don’t say anything.
And Rhea: My mom. Ok, in all honesty….I am sort of a momma’s boy….ok…that’s a big understatement…I’m a total momma’s boy. (Not villainous to admit that but OY! Who cares?). And psst—she likes me best too—I have her hair. (yeah, she’s got blue fire for hair…just like mine, only much more of it.)
4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? Errrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh……..I’ve got two older brothers. Zeus is the oldest out of all three of us and I &%#@!%@ HATE him so &@#$!@$ much!!! He’s the King of the Gods *and* the guy who stuck me in the $%@#$ Underworld. My other brother is Poseidon, ‘Lord of the Seas.’ They, as my older brothers, enjoy torturing me and acting like jerks to me…and as the gods of Olympus, are not very fond of me. Actually, who is?
5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. In the Underworld. How to describe it?....hmm…dark…dank…dreary…dark…very dead-ish…dark…umm….and singed. VERY singed. (my fault). And I live with my wife Persephone (for half the year, at least…) and my daughter Macaria (for half the year). AND Pain and Panic, my two minions, AND Charon the boat-driver
6. What is your occupation? I’m the Lord of the Underworld (as if ya couldn’t tell already from number 5!). I also do the god of wealth thing on the side. (I sell diamonds and rubies and emeralds and opals and topazes and stuff like that for ten drachmas a piece. Interested?).
7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. Oy vey….ok.
Height: In god height? About fifty…sixty feet tall or so. But the height I’m usually in is about seven feet.
Weight: Gods don’t weigh anything. (which is handy for Aphrodite)
Race: Greek
Hair: Blue fire. Don’t you people already know this?! It changes color: Red/orange when I’m mad (which is often), kind of a dull yellow when I’m depressed, and pink when I’m embarrassed. It flares up (but stays blue) when I’m happy. It flares up(but turns red/orange) when I’m REALLY mad.
Eye Color: Yellow. Black dots in the middle of each one. By the way, the dots get all swirly when I’m really mad. Or when Persephone told me she was pregnant.
Style of Dress: Togas, chitons, and other assorted greek dress. But I tend NOT to expose myself such as the other gods on Mt. Olympus, e.g. Zeus. Briefly put, I dress in layers.
8. To which social class do you belong? God…or immortals…
9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? Some types of mortal food (and some types of ambrosia) give me allergic reactions. Such as random explosions and rapid changing of flame color. Why do you think I eat worms? (other then the reason they taste great!)
10. Are you right- or left-handed? I’m a righty! And a lefty! All gods are ambidextrous.
11. What does your voice sound like? Sexy...no, ok, just kidding (am I?) It sounds the same as that guy….that James Woods guy…
12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? ‘Oy’ and ‘babe.’
13. What do you have in your pockets? What pockets? If I did have pockets, then I’d probably have stuff like….skulls…contracts in case I ran into someone who would be a good minion….a few quills….and paper clips. Can’t go wrong with paper clips!
14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I’m overly sarcastic(at times), I tend to explode….a lot, I talk way too fast…actually, the list goes on and on and on….
Part 2: Growing Up
15. How would you describe your childhood in general? It sucked. Spending your childhood in your dad’s gut is not fun. At all.
16. What is your earliest memory? Zeus and Poseidon extinguishing my hair….again….and again…and again…
17. How much schooling have you had? Not much. I’m a god—we’re kinda all-knowing….knowledge-wise, I mean. Although in Zeus’ case…
18. Did you enjoy school? The few weeks I did go to school? I hated it.
19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? My mom, who could control fire like me. And most of the rest I acquired myself while getting situated in the Underworld (big words! O.O)
20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! No.
21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Everyone except for my mom hated me. Although, Zeus didn’t really hate me…he liked me in an overly annoyed, thick-headed sort of way. Simply put, I hated them and they hated me.
22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? King of the Gods. That obviously didn’t happen, huh? What happened to ‘you can be anything you want to be?’!?!?!
23. As a child, what were your favorite activities? Not much….zapping things, sulking, zapping things, exploding, zapping things….
24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? Sarcasm. Lots and lots of it. And I had anger issues (I still do) and I kinda separated myself from everyone else.
25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? I was not popular, period, end of story. I had no friends. I still have no friends.
26. When and with whom was your first kiss? Sad to say, this does NOT pertain to my childhood…my first kiss (and hers) was with Persephone. And that was only aabout a thousand or so years ago.
27. Describe your first date. One of my uncles (a Cyclops) managed to set me up on a blind date with one of the Gray Sisters….and OH gods, that did NOT go well. The Gray Sisters are three hags who share one eye and one tooth (kinda like the Fates….they’re probably related) between them. The one I was with had neither the eye or the tooth. -shudders-
28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. I’m a god—I was born with it. There’s really not much more to it.
Part 3: Past Influences
29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Oy, this one’s tough….ok….hmm….gotta be a tie between me and Persephone getting married and Macaria being born.
30. Who has had the most influence on you? Mom, I guess.
31. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Successfully getting Persephone to love me.
32. What is your greatest regret? That Seph didn’t eat twelve pomegranate seeds instead of six…
33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? Ok…I’m not gonna answer this one?
.....too obvious….
34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Please read answer to number 33. –snicker-
35. When was the time you were the most frightened? Ummm….ok, I don’t get frightened often…but…actually I can’t pick out a specific event or anything…whenever Persephone or Macaria are in any kind of danger.
36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? …let’s just say Hermes has a tendency to come unannounced to the Underworld….
without knocking on doors….
37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? Oh, I dunno, maybe I could AVOID BEING SWALLOWED?! HUH?!?! For obvious reasons. –muttering- Numbskulls….
38. What is your best memory? I blankly refuse to answer this one for the sole reason that I will not describe anything rated R. Or NC-17.
39. What is your worst memory? Getting swallowed by my dear father…. Lousy son of a...
Part 4: Beliefs and Opinions
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Eh. I vary. But I can be pretty pessimistic at times, I’ll give ya that….
41. What is your greatest fear? That Zeus’ll find some loophole that would take away Persephone and Macaria for, like, ever.
42. What are your religious views? Ok, I’m a god. I get worshipped (well, not me personally…) And that’s about it. Us Ancient Greeks are pagans.
43. What are your political views? That Zeus is a lousy King of the Gods and I’d be much better at it.
44. What do you consider romantic? Me personally? Ok…um…this is a hard one….er….I guess….{I’m really not the romantic type}…umm…..chocolate covered worms are romantic…candlelight….(I can provide the lights for the candles)….ummm….ok, ya know what? I’m all confuddled now. I’m not romantic. Leave me alone.
45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? Pfft, yeah, I can kill! I’m the Lord of the Dead! And killing is always acceptable. Unless you’re killing Persephone. Or Macaria. Then it’s just barbaric, and wrong.
46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Keep me and Persephone apart….ok, just kidding {sorta}…I’m not really one to judge like that—I mean, I am one the Disney Villains {and proud of it}.
47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Before marriage? Heck no. After marriage?............................yeah.
48. What do you believe makes a successful life? Not being stuck in the Underworld for your entire life. That helps.
49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Not honest at all. In all honesty, the only people who know the ‘me’ me is Persephone and my mom. And come to think of it, it’s really not that different from the ‘regular’ me.
50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? Well…I hate big, stupid, beefy, extremely strong demi-gods whose names start with ‘H’ and end with ‘ercules’ and who enjoy overcoming their evil uncles and flirting with lots of girls, only to grow up and sway one of said evil uncles minions who’s names may start with ‘M’ and end with ‘egara.’ Other then that, no.
51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? I will NOT dance ever because I hate dancing and I can’t dance {ok, fine, fine, I can dance, and I’m really good at it, too, but I don’t like it.}
52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Gods, I’m really starting to hate these $#@%!$@ questions….but ok. Persephone. Without a doubt. And Macaria.
Part 5: Relationships With Others
53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? –snicker- Most of the time, very rudely. And no, I’m kinda like that to everyone. But I can be kind (sometimes) and compassionate (sometimes) and caring (sometimes)…..
54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? I really hate these questions….-sigh- I DON’T DO TOUCHY-FEELY-LIKE! LEAVE ME ALONE! –sulk- I don’t know, ok? It’s a tie between Seph and Maci. I love them both the same (although in MUCH different ways) and if either one was gone— -eyes widen- ok, ok, I’m not thinking about that…..
55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why? I don’t respect anyone—oh, alright…Seph, ‘cuz even after being forced to spend half the year away from the one she loves (-ahem- me), she can still stay positive. And I don’t know how the heck she can do that….
56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. No friends. Don’t want ‘em.
57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. Heh…oh, Persephone, jeez, where do I begin? Blonde hair, purple eyes, pink skin, goddess of spring, drop-dead gorgeous, really sweet (unless you start to flirt with me. Then she turns people into plants.) And, yeah, SHE LOVES ME!
58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Ok, short version—I met this babe on Mt. Olympus, she started yelling at me, I was, like, ‘omg, she is SO HOT’ so I left, got some info from the Fates, found out her name was Persephone, cornered her in a field and kidnapped her. Then I forced her to marry me, and she hated me for most of the time she was there. Lots of stuff happened, blah blah blah, bottom line, she falls for me, we have a kid, happy ending. Longer version is at
www.fanfiction.net/s/4729030/1/The_REAL_Cosmic_Couple. It's not done--my role-player's been writing it. But, yeah...
59. What do you look for in a potential lover? Oh, god, you’re kidding with this! ARRGH! I’m not answering this!
60. How close are you to your family? Not close. At all.
61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? Well, ok, I have my wife Persephone {see 58.) and my daughter Macaria. Maci looks like Persephone, with my fangs. When she gets all mad, she bursts into flame—skin is orange, eyes turn yellow (with black dots in the middle) hair goes aflame (and pretty cool-lookin’, if ya ask me). And she has my personality. All the way. Also, she and Hercules were born on the same day, same year, etc. etc—they’re the exact same age.
62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Persephone. I love Maci, but she’s
my kid, so I can’t really trust her like that….
63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? Persephone. She’s the only one in the entire world I trust.
64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Oh gods…%$@# these questions…Persephone and Macaria. I’m not loved! Stop asking these stupid @%!
65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why? Zeus and Hercules and Meg. Ever seen the movie Hercules? Ever seen the series Hercules? Yeah. Watch ‘em, and there’s your reasons.
66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? I argue with everyone. Mainly ‘cuz it’s fun!
67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? –snicker- Social situations….-snicker-….yeah, right….
68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? No, ‘cuz they all hate my guts and I hate them.
69. Do you care what others think of you? Not really. I’m used to it all by now.
Part 6: Likes And Dislikes
70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Zapping things, scheming, plotting, zapping things…
71. What is your most treasured possession? Does Persephone count as a possession?
72. What is your favorite color? Black
73. What is your favorite food? Worms.
74. What, if anything, do you like to read? The obituaries in the newsscrolls.
75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? Massacres. Nothin’ like a good massacre!
76. Do you smoke or drink? If so, why? Do you want to quit? I smoke. Why? Because I’m, like, made of fire. But I smoke literally too, ‘cuz I’m immortal and cigars will not harm me. I don’t wanna quit. I like smoking! And I drink, but I’m not an alcoholic. And I don’t usually get drunk…unless, of course, -ahem-, Persephone…y’know…
77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Well, that depends. If it’s in winter/fall, when Persephone is in the Underworld…well…you know perfectly well what we d—ahem, how I spend my Saturday nights. O.O. If it’s in spring/summer, it’s usually nothing. Torturing Pain and Panic, I guess.
78. What makes you laugh? Nothing. Except being tickled. And you can guess how often that happens.
79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you? The fact that Persephone used to think I would hurt her. And that’s just ridiculous. >:[
80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Well, if Persephone was with me…well, let’s just say
shewouldn’t get much sleep either –evil smile-
81. How do you deal with stress? I don’t. That’s my main problem.
82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? Hey—I’m a smart guy. I map out my plans. But I can be spontaneous.
83. What are your pet peeves? Hercules is my main pet peeve.
Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? I live in the Underworld. Normal days do not exist.
85. What is your greatest strength as a person? The ability to talk anyone into doing anything—and that thing usually benefits only me. It’s a good skill to have, trust me.
86. What is your greatest weakness? Yeah, right. I have no weakness –is too egotistical for his own good-
87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I like me. I wouldn’t change anything. –sticks tongue out-
88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Sad to say, I have not idea what that means. Leave me alone.
89. Are you generally organized or messy? Messy.
90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. …well— -Persephone covers his mouth- -gives her a look- Fine, fine, I won’t say it…sheesh…-mutters- I won’t go all R rated…um…ok, I’m bad at: sensitivity, romantic stuff, and touchy-feely kinda junk.
91. Do you like yourself? I love myself! (gee, that sounded Gaston-ish)
92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons...) I’m a villain ‘cuz of my animators and writers. So there. And plus, I like being a villain. Heroes suck.
93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Taking over Mt. Olympus.
94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? As King of the Gods.
95. If you could choose, how would you want to die? Yeah, it’s that little thing called immortality that prevents that from happening. Sorry, fans of Jerkules.
96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Read answer for numeral 95.
97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? Read answer for numeral 95.
98. What three words best describe your personality? An. Evil. Lawyer. (is there any other kind?!)
99. What three words would others probably use to describe you? Used. Chariot. Salesman.
100. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice...) Ok, Hades, you know I love you (in a not-healthy-for-you, creepy kind of way), but you need to stay focused. Stop sending others out to do work for you. Words to live by: Never send an imp to do a god’s job. If you had only taken matters into your own hands, then you wouldn’t be sitting here getting scolded by a mortal—nooo, you’d be on Mt. Olympus doing Zeus knows what with Persephone….and Hera….and Aphrodite….and Athena….and Artemis (ok, ok, I’ll stop). Or at least get better minions—us Hades-fans (and trust me, there are a lot of us) love Pain and panic to death! But they really can’t accomplish anything. So what are you successfully gaining, Hades?
And by the way—I know how Persephone gets really jealous when other girls flirt with you. Tell her not to turn me into a plant.
feel free to read it. I just wanted all you people to see my hard work.