It was a glorious day, fair, but not overly hot, as Basil strolled through the Grand Floridian Hotel. It was as grand as it's name, and he would very much have liked to stay here, but the price was out of the question.
Still, spending time here was enjoyable, even to those just passing through.
What was this? A portrait artist plying her trade in the lobby. For a fee, she created charcoal drawings of passersby.
Basil watched the female artist put the finishing touches on a tourist's portrait. It was quite good, actually, and he had always wanted to have his likeness taken.
Perhaps he would pay the young lady for a sitting.
Post by diversmelody on Apr 26, 2009 9:45:50 GMT -5
After his early disappointment, due to a lack of adoring fans, Kuzco decided to try the hotel. From the outside, it certainly looked large, fancy, and expensive. It was bound to had people that would treat the Emperor the way the Emperor should be treated. Maybe they had massages and room service, too. Kuzco smiled smugly as he entered the Grand Floridian Resort. So long as people waited on him, he would be content. The inside of the hotel looked nice enough, Kuzco decided. Of course, it was not nearly as grand as his palace, but it would have to do.
Emperor Kuzco, dressed so elegantly, and royally, complete with crown, began to approach the reception desk. It was then that he noticed the artist drawing charcoal portraits. He stopped, mid-step, and looked at the portrait she had just finished and was handing to the customer curiously. A grin crossed his face as an idea came to mind.
Now that's more like it. There may not be an area or park dedicated to me, but I can at least have my portrait done, he thought. He put on his thinking face, holding a finger to his chin, as he considered his idea. His thoughts turned into words spoken aloud, as they often did when he was thinking. "Then I can either make her do more, or I could send someone to make copies of it...." he said to himself, just above a whisper. A grin appeared, growing larger and larger as the volume of Kuzco's voice rose in excitement. "And post them all over the park for adoring fans to see!" Quickly, he rushed over to the artist, handing her some gold coins out of a pocket on his clothing that could not be seen.
Ignoring the chair where customers were to sit, Kuzco stood and struck a pose. "I know," he said, smiling, "you just feel so honored to get to draw picture of me. Now make sure I look good. I expect that picture to be perfect." He paused, then, full of arrogance, blurted out, "oh wait, it will be perfect because I'll be in it!" He grinned triumphantly, feeling he was finally about to have his way in this stupid 'happiest place on earth.'
It was then that Emperor Kuzco's eyes scanned the room and noticed something. A small mouse standing not too far away. He frowned slightly, then looked around the room once more. "Hey, there's a rat over here. Will somebody call pest control?" He yelled, adding under his breath, though probably loud enough for anyone close to hear, "hope they don't have a reputation for a clean hotel."
Ah, the artist completed the portrait and was no longer engaged. Splendid, thought Basil.
However, before he could step up to have his own likeness taken, a brazen young human in loud and uncouth dress pushed ahead of him.
"Excuse me, sir, but I believe I was next," said the mouse rather icily, although his statement was drowned out by the inane chatter of the newcomer.
Opening his mouth to try again, Basil was interrupted by the fellow's comment about pest control. How dare he! Now the detective was beginning to grow warm.
He leapt nimbly onto the chair reserved for the kiosk's customers and smiled suavely at the young lady, "Good afternoon, Miss. My name is Basil of Baker Street, and I could not help but admire your work. You have a fine talent."
He raised one eyebrow at the rude person in red. "Which is why I have been waiting in line to have my portrait taken."
"I hope you will have no objection to a full-length drawing for a, ahem, mouse?" After all, his entire body was smaller than the human heads she usually drew. "Thank you, that is very kind. Shall we begin?"
Post by diversmelody on Apr 27, 2009 16:44:18 GMT -5
As the little mouse that he had just mentioned hopped up onto the chair and insisted that his portrait was drawn first, Kuzco narrowed his eyes. "Great... A talking mouse is trying to be first..." He muttered to himself, barely audible. Kuzco had already seen some strange characters in this park, but this might have been the strangest.
Clearing his throat, Kuzco took a step closer to the mouse, looking bored, already getting tired of the way this thing acted like it was in charge. "Look, you may have been first, but I'm the Emperor," he said, giving a smug smile. The Emperor always got his way, in Kuzco's mind. He had this over the mouse and that was that.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," Kuzco said, only using the word 'excuse' in a smart alec way, "I would like my portrait drawn." He took a step to the side so that he was standing in front of the chair the mouse sat on. He made another pose, expecting the mouse to get up and leave. No one would dare argue with the legendary Emperor Kuzco!
Post by diversmelody on Apr 28, 2009 19:58:52 GMT -5
When the mouse spoke again, Kuzco curled his hands into fists, glaring once more. The Emperor of the park? Ha! Like he needed to be Emperor of that too. He ruled a kingdom, he had a palace, he was rich, and he was undeniably handsome, at least, in his mind. And here some rat was trying to tell him that didn't apply. He was not going to be bossed around by a rodent. He gave a slight growl in his throat, then tried to counter by speaking to the woman.
"Oh, so you prefer to draw a mangy old rat than me. You know, I know my good lucks are so unbelievably, well, good looking, that sometimes it nearly blinds the eye to look at me, but it's a chance we all must take. I mean, if you died today without having ever seen my face, what a waste would your life have been..." Kuzco said, speaking as if all of this was very obvious. "But look at that thing," he gestured to the mouse, "I mean, it probably has a disease or something. And fleas. And it's hideous!" He gave a shiver at the thought.
Kuzco then looked back at the mouse with the same smug smile as if he had already won. "Look, I'm Emperor Kuzco, and you, are a mouse that nobody cares about. My face is gorgeous," here he pulled a large poster of himself out and gave a shake so that it unrolled itself, then held it up to his face as if proving his point. He grinned, making the expression in the picture, then frowned and finished, "and yours is not. Now why don't you scamper off and eat a piece of cheese or something." With that, Kuzco smiled pleasantly at the woman, then purposely bumped the table with his side in an attempt to cause enough vibrations to knock his pathetic rival off.
Basil listened impatiently to the rantings of the annoying person, as he droned on and on, singing his own praises.
He was beginning to be quite hot under the collar as Kuzco unleashed a torrent of the most uncivil insults. Why, if they were the same size, he would lose no time in challenging the twit to a duel of honour.
Instead, the mouse controlled himself with a herculean effort. "One moment. Did you say 'Emperor Kuzco?' How unforgivable that I should not recognize you at once," he said with mock sincerity.
"I'd heard that Kuzco was a rude, self-absorbed, insufferable lout who strutted about like a peacock dressed in the most outlandish costume outside of a circus. But I failed to realize he was also a scrawny, ill-bred poltroon with feet quite as large as his brain is minute."
Basil barely got all this out before Kuzco jostled the table, causing the mouse to nearly fall off. But he caught the edge in time and hoisted himself back up with an indignant, "Now see here!"
Post by diversmelody on Apr 30, 2009 20:28:17 GMT -5
At the insults hurled with both mock sincerity, and class, Kuzco's temper grew. Before, he had merely been annoyed. Now, he was angry. "Why you little... little..." He said, looking for just the right word. "Rodent!" He finished, irritated he had not been able to come up with a better word.
Kuzco held his hands up in front of him like claws, looking as though he was going to throw something any moment. He paused, looking furious, then suddenly turned to the woman and gave a polite smile. "Excuse moi...." He said, his voice even. He turned and walked away, slowly and calmly. Walking up to a man sitting on a bench and reading a newspaper, he asked, "Hey, can I borrow this?" Without waiting for an answer, he snatched it out of the man's hands. "Thanks. You're so kind!" Kuzco said, his sweet smile and voice showing he clearly did not mean his words. And with that, he quickly stomped back over to the woman and his enemy.
The Emperor faked another smile as his dark eyes rested on the rat once again. Then, he held up the paper in front of himself, appearing to be reading an article. "Oh, would you look at that. The Yankees lost that last game..." He said, as if talking aloud to himself absentmindedly. Suddenly, he rolled the newspaper up as a sly grin crossed his face. Learning forward he gave a loud "AHA!" and brought the paper down, in an attempt to swat the mouse like a fly.
"Why you little... little..." He said, looking for just the right word. "Rodent!"
Basil bristled at the insult, straightening to his full three-and-one-third inches. He was most definitely not little.
He opened his mouth for a scathing retort, but the erst-while emperor walked away before he could be properly harangued.
So much the better, thought Basil with a derisive snort. Turning back to the by now bewildered artist, he endeavoured to compose himself for the portrait, only to be interrupted once more by Kuzco.
Didn't he know by now that in a war of words he was woefully out of his league? The mouse prepared himself for another barrage of inanity, when he found himself suddenly and unceremoniously swatted by a newspaper!
Why, the unmitigated gall! Basil wasn't injured, but it did smart as it knocked him flat.
Leaping to his feet, battered but undaunted, the detective reached out for the nearest weapon.
"How dare you, sir! I demand satisfaction! En garde!" he shouted, brandishing a charcoal stick like a rapier.
A skilled fencer, Basil thrust and parried in a blur of motion which swiftly left Kuzco with a huge curling mustache and neat goatee drawn on his face.
Post by diversmelody on May 6, 2009 15:50:59 GMT -5
Kuzco grinned happily as the mouse was hit by the newspaper. That ought to teach him a thing or two! No one got away with trying to do anything before the Emperor.
Kuzco only laughed when he was threatened with a stick of charcoal. "And what are you gonna do with that?" He said, not intimidated in the least. His laugh was cut short, however, as the mouse came at him with expert skill and speed. Before Kuzco knew it, he felt the chalk like substance slide across his face. Quickly, he pulled a small hand mirror, which he always kept with him in order to look at himself, out and held it in front of him. He gasped quietly, then glared at the mouse.
"Oh no you didn't..." The Emperor said flatly. He stole a quick glance in the mirror again, only to close his eyes and turn his head in the other direction. "Now that's just cruel!" He said, his voice quavering. "You ruined my beautiful face." His voice was high pitched and on the edge of tears. "It's going to take hours to get it all washed off and return my face to the smooth complexion of a baby's bottom."
For a moment, it seemed he would indeed cry. Then, he glared at his opponent once again. "You're going to pay for that." With that said, he carelessly threw the mirror over his shoulder and held the newspaper like a fencing foil, accepting the mouse's challenge. Realizing his disadvantage, Kuzco again tried to swat the small creature standing in his way, despite his fencing pose.
((Sorry for the wait. There's a lot of stress at my house right now due to my grandma's back surgery. And sorry if my post stunk. I'm kinda tired right now.))
<<No worries. Posting with Kuzco is worth the wait. :) Hope your Grandma recovers quickly.>>
Inordinately pleased with himself, Basil smiled smugly. He had won this altercation and taught Kuzco a lesson in manners. Or so he thought.
After a bit of mewling, the young emperor brandished the newspaper once again. Basil dodged with difficulty, leaping left, then right, then straight up to avoid being swatted once more.
If only Kuzco were rodent-sized! the detective was confident of his ability to defeat an opponent on equal footing, but what could he do against a human?
Fortunately, the youth had revealed his weakness: he was excessively vain about his appearance. Perhaps that could be turned to Basil's advantage...
Dropping the charcoal stick, he wrenched the stopper from a nearby bottle of ink. It was one of those lids with an eyedropper built in, and Basil turned it to face Kuzco, squeezing the bulb with all his strength.
Out shot a small stream of India ink, right at the emperor's royal robes.