Dude looks like a lady XPPP (OPEN)

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A sleek and slightly bent pair of legs encased in snug looking fishnets were the first to step into the cafe but the scandalous stockings stopped at the familiar, fuzzy red ankles of a certain sneak. The scarlet canine's vast, protruding feet were still visible, despite his exhausting attempt to disguise himself. Security around the park had been increasing its tightness and somebody--probably an old victim of his--had probably informed the staff of all the recent theft that was taking place. So naturally, the fox did what any unsensible predator in the situation--conceal his identity by dressing in drag.

Hey, if the big, bad wolf could pull it off, then so could he! XP

He wore loose, blue minidress that seemed to be a peculiar mix of felt and denim and the hem came to a halt just above his crooked knees. The sleeves were long and hid his furry arms considerably well while his tail dangled underneath the skirt like a wet noodle. He had managed to shape his disheveled bangs into a slick and and more feminine looking style and they covered one of his eyes ina seductive sort of way. His large, dark eyes were also ringed with mascara thicker than a crayon that gave him the appearance of some cracked up looking version of Anubis. He looked like an even bigger flake than Maid Marian with all that makeup and skimpy outfit but as usual, the fox strutted his stuff as if he owned the joint. He'd rather swallow snake venom than his pride.

The fox voiced his request for a hot chocolate in a ridiculously high falsetto and wandered over to a table in the back, absentmindedly stretching out his legs and resting them on the surface in a most unladylike way. He hastily pulled a tube of lipstick out of his top--the makeup was nestled between the balls of socks that he had used for his fake knockers and he began to apply the deep shade slowly, smirking at his reflection in the nearby spoon.

[Clopin Trouillefou]

He stood there staring at him for a long moment, although he doubted he could see him, for he was for too distracted whipping out the lipstick to really care for Trouillefou’s wandering eyes.

Clopin watched, fascinated; the way he glided it across his full lips made the gypsy stiffen with a breathless sigh. He slid over to the fox-in-a-drag and reached out a hand, sensually tipping his chin up with a long finger, and, briefly did he chuckle, asking,

“My! Why is it, when I look into those lovely eyes of yours, I see heaven? Surely, I find sanctuary in them better than dear old Notre Dame herself.” He leaned in, batting his eyelashes in a feminine sort of way, basking in his charm and allure.

He waited for no answer as he pulled the desirable beast to him and pressed his lips roughly against his locking lips without delay, then he let him go, casting him a seductive wink. Poor Clopin was not aware that this was Brer Fox in a dress.

“Mmm,” Clopin purred. “Strawberry flavored...”

Oh. My. God. X3

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The dolled up mongrel was reaching for his drink at the same time Clopin had swiftly jaunted over and began to stroke his long chin in a tender motion. Instantly, the fox's heavily painted eyes rose to meet the gypsy's own impish ones that were traced a sort of enamored glow that unsettled the animal quite a bit. He always knew the man was a bit insane--and that was understating it immensely--but even the fox didn't know what to make of this and he had a couple of screws loose himself.

"Uh, Clopin--" he began in a low, raspy whisper but before he could finish his sentence, the rouge jester had latched his mouth onto the fox's abruptly and his inky eyes widened with alarm so incredibly that it was a wonder they didn't burst out of his skull.

Not that it was a totally awful kiss...but given the situation he was in, with the struggle to keep a low profile and cover his tail from the authorities, he was paranoid that a policeman or somebody would waddle in to order a doughnut and catch him smooching it up with the gypsy. He couldn't risk being caught and he roughly shoved Clopin away.

Forgetting to disguise his voice, the fox hissed at his frenemy, "What d'ya think yo doin', pal?! Maybe you swing dat way, but I don' so keep dose thin scabs ya call yo lips offa mine or I'll shut them in a drawah! Heah wheah I'm at?" The fox was too anxious to remember to be civil and clenched his long fingers tightly to sedate his nerves.

~licks~

[Warren Peace]

((AHAHAHA!!!!! ZOMG!!!! YOU GUYS SLAAAAAY MEEE!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! CLOPIN AND FOXY, SITTING IN A TREEEEE!!!!!!!))

[Clopin Trouillefou]

Speechless?” he asked, his voice like silk over iron. The fire in him ceased when the fox confessed his deed.

The stunned gypsy twitched under the fox’s equally frightened gaze; the slow wrinkling of his prominent nose was terribly obvious to those who sensed his growing horror. Clopin staggered back with his gloved hand slapped over his face as he cursed inelegantly in French.

This gorgeous woman was his abhorred enemy and friend? But how – it – he... “Goodness, you sly, wretched fox!” he cried shrilly, pointing an accusing finger his way, hyperventilating, eyes nearly falling out of his eye sockets.

“I have to go to the little gypsies’ room now,” he gagged, running away at the speed of light until he bumped into a table and flipped over with a rather painful yelp.

“Sanctuary…” he moaned, unlike his usual smooth, collected self. He was an utter mess.

The Gypsy King had snogged Brer Fox!

“My goodness, my henchmen will never let me hear the end of this.” He sighed, curling up on the floor, traumatized.

Clopin silently imagined Nani, his amour, in Victoria's Secret lingerie. The beast in him purred...his disgust simmering down into something much more disturbing.

He snuggled a napkin and pretended it was Nani.

Make the bad dreams go away mother, Clopin thought, shivering, clinging desperately to what he imagined was Nani's bosom.